The Top Ten Reasons Why I Carry A VPUF
Bongs are for “bros”; extracts are for hardcore medicating, and vapes are an exclusive club all of its own. Joints, on the other hand, are what most of us smoked to start with, and they have their appeal, but that’s just not a good enough reason to keep using them.
For walking around, passing around and all around better flavor—because we’re all about those terpenes these days—it’s got to be a Vpuf. Here are my top 10 #nofilter reasons for carrying a Vpuf.
It’s easier than rolling a joint
Even a seasoned surgeon’s hands can fall casualty to all the things that keep a person from rolling a smokeable joint. The conditions have to be perfect—steady hands, low wind, a filter, and the focus to roll it all up without ripping the paper. Oh, wait, that was your last king-size Raw? Dang. With a Vpuf, I get a sturdy pipe every time, and it takes me less than a minute to fold up.
It keeps the mood mellow
Ever had that moment when all the elements are in place but someone forgot the papers? Vpuf is everything you need in one piece, and it fits like a credit card in your wallet or pocket. Just pull apart the bowl from the stem, fold both separately and then put them together to make the completed pipe. No running to 7-11 because something is missing, and no arguments either, just pure relaxation. That is unless the thing you forgot is the all-important Bic.
You don’t have to deal with the roach
To smoke the roach down to the filter, or not? It’s a yucky prospect until you lament about all of the wasted herb down there. Even the top shelf stuff starts to taste sludgy closer to the end of the joint. Stop punishing yourself. The Vpuf, on the other hand, lets you make fragrant clouds out of a mini bowl and refill that bowl with fresh bud. Some resin will build up in the Vpuf over time and that’s when you know to throw it away and fold up a new one.
It’s a neat party trick
Wait until you’re at the skate park, an outdoor concert or movie, or any other space that would make it difficult or awkward to roll a joint (never mind pull out a bong or dab rig) and then fold up your Vpuf. Suddenly you’re the hero of the day. You’re welcome.
They are guaranteed impromptu “gifts”
Because they’re so compact, I carry a few Vpufs with me at all times, and after hanging out with a buddy, I leave them with one. It’s like giving them a little peace of mind for the next time they’re without papers or their vape unit has run out of batteries. One time, I even left one under the windshield wiper of a car because I noticed a Weedmaps sticker on the rear window.
Vpufs get me business
When it came time to re-up on my business cards—something that I consider terribly old-fashioned, albeit necessary—I shopped around for something different. I looked at alternative materials, shapes and printing gimmicks, and then saw that Vpufs could brand each order. Maybe they wouldn’t work for everyone’s business, but because mine is cannabis-specific, they do. My networking is on point because not only is my new “business card” super memorable; it’s useful too. No one else at trade shows gets asked for their card twice except me. For my special clients, I give a little something to stick in that pipe later.
No one gets burned
No re-lighting a roach or holding the choke with one finger while you hold fire to the bowl. The Vpuf keeps fingers far away from the fire the whole time.
They’re made in the USA
At a time when cannabis industry folk are coming out of the woodwork and legislation is changing, it’s a good opportunity to stoke this new economy by paying attention to all of the excellent products being grown, produced and developed right in our own backyard. Let’s be proud to share this space with so many enterprising ganjapreneurs. Get out there and buy local!
The bowl is the perfect size for micro-dosing
Because I’m often using cannabis to medicate, rather than get totally ripped, I keep my daytime doses small. Microdosing delivers all the benefits of marijuana with fewer side effects. Good for me because I get to use my Vpuf between client meetings and not feel the urge to gorge on munchies, fall asleep, or philosophize.
It’s a comfort thing
The final reason is one that’s a little more personal, but if you made it this far then, I’d consider us intimate enough that I can disclose. I suffer from anxiety. Who doesn’t, right? But when your chosen method of medicating is cannabis, a substance that isn’t entirely legal everywhere (least not in public), and tends to garner unwanted attention due to its certain odor, it can be hard to medicate during the day. Even using a non-psychoactive CBD strain looks and smells a little suspicious. The Vpuf helps all that in a few ways. Keeping a Vpuf on me at all times means that I’m never without a method for medicating. Then, it also allows me to micro-dose at times when I just need a wee hit and don’t want to feel “inda-couched” when I’m trying to be productive. When done, I toss the pipe and continue odorless and anxiety-free through my day.
Those are my personal reasons for always having a Vpuf on hand. What are yours?